BIG NEWS!!!!

Bear with me here....this is gonna be a looooong one!!! But for posterity sake -and to let you all in on our thought process - here goes!!!

So let me tell you what's going on....and then tell you why!

We're opening up our request to include a child with HIV.

There have been a few other times where I felt God spoke audibly to me....Friday night, August 21, 2009 was one of them. I was doing my daily " blog stalking" (I have all these blogs I follow of other families, mostly with our agency, that are adopting or have adopted from ET) I managed to trip on to a new one that led me over to a website called www.positivelyadopted.com I HIGHLY encourage you to go there after reading this post!!! So I spent 2 hours reading, watching, crying, arguing with God, etc. My biggest fears were unfounded!!! It's virtually impossible to contract HIV from just living with someone with HIV. In fact it's more dangerous to ride in your car, jump on a trampoline, be a cheerleader, or go hiking, than to live with someone with HIV. So if we were going to let fear rule us we'd have to give up those activities too. My other concern was that we wouldn't have the "time" to deal with the medical side of things. Well medicine every morning & night isn't too bad - and a dr visit every 3 months is doable! So honestly, what we're dealing with is the stigma of being HIV+.....and God convicted me on that one too (imagine!). He asked me if I cared more about what other people thought - or about what HE thought....yikes!!! bulls-eye!!!

So, just to appease HIM, I jumped over to the waiting children site on AWAA's website. Of course, there was the most beautiful little 1 year old girl you've EVER seen - who was HIV+. Her big eyes just jumped out of her face - gorgeous, innocent, beautiful, a little child of God....so with more tears and less arguing I tried to go to bed. To make matters worse, or better depending on how you look at it (!), Matt was in Astoria for his reserve drill weekend.

The verse that I had claimed for us for this adoption kept running through my head.
Isaiah 45:2-3
I will go before you & level mountains
I will break down gates of bronze & cut through bars of iron
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places -
So that you may know that I am the LORD.

I feel like God audibly spoke to me & said - Jill, that verse isn't for you, it's for Ellie. I will go before her & level mountains. The gates of bronze & bars of iron are you and Matt - you're the first piece that has to give. She will be BLESSED so that others will know that I AM THE LORD!!! of course, more crying, no arguing at this point - yes Lord....

So at 5:39 in the morning (and if you know me at all, you know I don't open my eyes before 8am unless it's SERIOUS) God woke me up again. This time He told me that Jeremiah 29:11 (the verse we'd claimed for Ellie) - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future - was not Ellie's verse - but OUR verse! His plans are to prosper us & not to harm us - to give us hope & a future!!! Our ENTIRE family! Ellie included!!!

I popped out of bed....remember my poor husband knew none of this! At 6am I called him. He kept hanging up on me b/c he thought it was the alarm. But not to be discouraged I kept calling back! Finally he answered - I said - I need you to close your eyes & give me your hands (which is what he did to me when he told me about Staten Island!) and I started praying. That God would guide us, direct us, help us to be open to His will. And then I told him everything that God had told me. He didn't have internet at the hotel so I had to wait for him to get to work so he could look at the positively adopted website & see her adorable picture. I then proceeded to call him every hour to see if he'd made a decision...poor man! Our last phone call at 2pm went something like this - J: so have you thought any more about it? M: Let's bring her home!! and then the jolly laughter of a man at peace followed by the most amazing sigh and - I'm so glad I married you, there's never a dull moment! Isn't my guy AMAZING????? I had told him that we BOTH need to be completely on board with this - it can't just be me wanting it enough for both of us.

So I called AWAA at 6am this morning (it was 9am their time!). It took them 2 and 1/2 hours to get back to me! Can you imagine??? Anyway - It seems the little angel on the website is already being looked at by another family - yeah! But that now that she knows we're open to an HIV baby that they'll be actively looking for one. She told me we needed to fill out the waiting child application on line & then check with our social worker to see what we needed to do to amend our homestudy to approve us for a child with HIV. She told me she'd give us a call as soon as she knew something. So 5 minutes later the phone rings! I sprint to the office - and thank goodness we have caller id or I'd have freaked out on the phone, I'm sure. But it was one of my jewelers from California!!!

So to make a long story longer :) God's timing is so perfect. We needed to see the face of HIV....on an adorable 1 year old angel to push us over the edge to say yes. Had AWAA put under her picture "file under review" like they do all the others that are under review....I don't know what would've happened.....her name means "peace". That is what God has given us - absolute peace!!! I pray that she finds an amazing family - maybe one day we'll get to meet her - how cool would that be??? But she will always be a piece of this puzzle for me :)

Well this makes the timeline TOTALLY different!!! We are #1 in line for an infant with HIV. We could receive our referral any day!!!!! I can't wait to hear "Hi, this is Nicole Wiegold, I have a referral for you!" What a day of rejoicing that will be!!!!!! It could be tomorrow!!!?!?!?!? Then we'll have to wait for a court date. The courts are closed b/c of the rainy season until the end of September. Hopefully we'll get an October court date & be able to travel in NOVEMBER!!!! Can you believe it??? What a God we serve!!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!! What a year it's been!!!

In 2001 God told me He had amazing plans for my life. He told me to keep on keeping on with Premier and to be patient b/c if He told me now what my future held I'd run the other way b/c I wasn't ready to hear it. The amazing part of it all was that I was good with that answer! Impatient old me (younger me at the time) was ok with WAIT. God used that time to turn Premier into something phenomenal! How many people that have the time to pursue something like this have the funding to do it? and how many people that have the funding have the time? We are so uniquely, specifically suited for this it's not even funny.....it's divine...it can only be God.

He will go before you and level mountains.....I can't WAIT to see what He has in store for us next!!!!