What a week.....

I'm not sure how to even begin to put into words what an incredible gift this week was. Getting to be there when Craig and Caylene met their kids for the first time would've been worth the trip alone!!!!! But add getting to spend the week with MY kids TOO!!! I almost can't process it all!!!

I cant show pics of the kids faces until we pass court, until then here's a few of my favorites from the week!

Meeting the kids for the first time....












Our first night together...



Playing baseball in the courtyard.....that was funny! I don't think Bona had ever seen a bat before!




Bona taking pictures....not bad for a 6 year old!



Playing hide n seek in the curtains



Playing with mommys purse.




SWIMMING at the Sheraton....VERY fun!



Her bottoms were too big and kept sagging off!



Learning to use scissors the first time! At dinner he was trying to use his fork and knife like a scissors too....very creative kid!



They LOVED blowing bubbles off the balcony.


Watching toy story 3 on my iPad....for the 12th time!




Snuggle time with mommy!



Playing jump rope with Maddie



Putting Buzenas blanket on her bed at the orphanage.



Saying "I'll see you soon" (not good bye) to Bona.




Not quite as easy with Buzena.....once she started crying I officially lost it....it didn't help that every time I looked at Kelli she was crying as hard as I was.....but thanks for not letting me cry alone Kel!!!!



I've already posted my favorite picture of the whole trip.....but I'll include it here too. I love it because of all of the emotion it shows....even though it makes me cry to look at it.....they're tears of hope, of longing, of expectation for all that is to come! God has once again set the lonely in families...He's provided them with hope and a future....he has allowed all things to work together for good!!!!!





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Oh boy oh boy

So yeah....that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The kids were actually kind of excited to see all their friends. Bona had a great time showing them all his new stuff. Buzena was much more reserved but she had fallen asleep in the car on the way over.

We stayed for about 30 minutes. They had fun handing out candy to their friends and nannies. We got to see the room with the babies....9 of the smallest little things I'd ever seen.

Then when I went to give buzena one last hug good bye she held on to me with a death grip and started sobbing. I of course had been crying off and on for the last hour...and i full on lost it too.

I held her for probably another 5 minutes and tried to get her interested in some of the things Kelli had brought, coloring books and such. No way. She wanted her mommy big time. The nannies came over and tried to talk to her as I tried to detangle myself from her....which was the last thing I wanted to do, but I figured our driver had waited long enough.

I got in the car with her still sobbing in her nannies arms. Thankfully she had quieted down by the time they got the gate open and we drove away.

Bona let me give him a hug, but then wiped off the big fat kiss I laid on him! Apparently he has a reputation to uphold!

I told Kelli on the way out that no one ever told me love would hurt so much....my heart is on two continents half way around the world from each other....





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Humbled....

I am so humbled by God's grace and provision....at His ability to knit a family together...at his almost overwhelming attention to even the smallest details....

We have come SO FAR in just 5 days. We're understanding each other more and more - through english, amharic, sign language,and eyebrow language - they have THE most expressive eyebrows you've ever seen! With the added communication comes fewer temper tantrums, or at least shorter, less dramatic ones!

Craig hit the nail on the head last night when he said it takes about 1 day per year old. I told him I didn't appreciate that since tomorrow will be day 6...and I bring them back at 2pm....

With as many prayers as God has answered these past 5 days I'm going to try and act like He'll answer ALL of our prayers for next 6 weeks we're apart....why is it so hard to believe and trust that they'll be ok? that I'll be ok? I've seen God move MOUNTAINS these past 5 days. Please pray that I'll be able to keep my eyes, my heart, and my head completly on HIM. When I even think about tomorrow I start to cry....

I know God designed us mom's this way. That mother bear instinct runs deep! and I also know that His peace has always defied my understanding....even in the deepest and darkest of circumstances - He always comes through AND gives me the grace and peace to go through it too :) This will be one more thing I'll be able to add to my EXTENSIVE list of how God has taken care of me!

So my new countdown is 6 weeks! I'll be back in 6 WEEKS!!!! Please pray with us for wisdom on whether I should stay between court and embassy. They average time right now is 4.5 weeks from court until you have an embassy appointment....and it seems that when they give out the embassy appointments they're very short notice - of course you can push them back until you can get here....but if I'm already here....hmmmm....Caylene & I are going to check out a guest house a short walk away from our current guest house. The one we're at now is SUPER nice - but also quite expensive - $80/night. The one we're going to look at has rooms for $40/night & they're willing to negotiate a lower rate for a longer stay....if we ever needed wisdom...now is the time!!!!

Thank you AGAIN for all your prayers!!! We have sooooo felt them!!! Things are going VERY well with Craig & Caylene too.

We can feel your prayers!!!!

The kids are doing great! I won't lie to you...it's been very very very hard. Imagine you're 6 and you're with someone that only knows how to say i love you in your language...although I've picked up quite a few more! Yes, no, good job, beautiful, wet, don't touch, water, pee, poop...you know, all the important words! I really think it was all Gods plan to have me come this extra week. Bona has been really tough...but every day gets decidedly better! I really think it's what he needed to help the adjustment period. Buzena is to die for! Shes had her breakdowns too, but they're not nearly as long...her first one was over me not letting her have 7 dum dum suckers! Today they were playing soccer in the courtyard with the gate guard. I was taking a much needed break in the chair. Every few seconds buzena would look over to make sure I was paying attention to her! Bona would check in on occasion too....but not nearly as often. Thats a big sign of bonding!!!!! Today one of the other gals told me she knew God was in the middle of adoption because when she looked at me with my kids she said we go perfect together! I told her I was so honored because I can't barely take my eyes off of them they're so gorgeous!!! At breakfast the other day someone else said they looked like gap models! And not only are they cute, they're so sweet!!! Bona is a riot! He loves to pretend he's batman. Caylene said i should bring a batman costume with me next time. I said no way, there's no way I'd ever get him out of it! And I'm already getting stared at enough around town without having batman next to me! Tonight they got a dum dum after dinner, half way through their sucker they traded with each other. When buzenna ran out of bubbles today, bona opened his water and filled her bubble container for her....that's when I learned the word wet because he spilled his water all over himself! One more full day left....I cant believe it. I'm planning to take the kids back at 2 pm on Tuesday and spend at least an hour there. I've got candy and treats for all the kids. I'm planning to have the director sit down with me and the kids and make sure they completely...as much as a 6 and 3 year old can...understand what's going to happen. I'm going to have her tell bona that I really think he's a great boy and I very much want to be his mommy. And than have her flat out ask him if he wants me to be his mommy.....I know I run the risk of him saying no. But I never want him to think he didn't have a say in it. I honestly think his answer will be yes. After our first full really really hard day I had T talk to him and ask him if he wanted to finish staying the week with me and he said yes to that.....so we will see. Kelli has already decided that if caylene doesn't pass court on Tuesday that she won't be able to stand all the depression in our room...as I'll have just dropped off the kids....and she's finding new roomies!!!! I'll be headed to the airport at 7 pm that night so hopefully I wont be too much of a downer! Its killing me not to have Matt here. Tonight buzena was sitting in craigs lap looking at pics on the computer.....I told her she best get down or daddy would be super jealous! Of course she didn't understand a word I was saying and I was laughing as I said it, so she just giggled! Please please keep praying!!!! We can all feel them!!! God is doing some amazing work...in our kids and is us! I keep think about the verse that's something like, He sets the lonely in families. A lot of the issues I see from bona stem from just that. He's come up with ways to cope. But in just 4 days I'm getting a really good view of what the future holds....and it's great stuff!!!!! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

2 steps forward....1 step back

So yeah.....this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

My heart is breaking for b and b. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose everything you've ever known....then gain some sort of normal at an orphanage....and then have this foreigner scoop you up tell you she loves you and then take you to live with her for a week. You can't understand more than a few words of what she's saying.....she won't let you eat all the candy you want, she won't let you bang away on her iPad all you want, she won't take you swimming everyday.....

So we've had at least one major temper tantrum every day. The first day was over not getting to bang away on every app on my iPad. That resulted in 30 minutes of sobbing from Bona. And lots of talking I couldn't understand. Yesterday it was 45 minutes of a self imposed time out (he crawled up on his bed) over not getting to wear his swim suit. I think he thought if he put it on we would get to go swimming again...oh how I wish we could go again....but it's expensive!

Buzena has been doing much better.....she is 3 .....and easy to bribe ;)

I try to be one of those moms that doesn't say because I said so. I hated that growing up so I really try to hear my kids side of the story and if I think they have a good reason we do it....for example, we were playing soccer in the courtyard yesterday. Buzena wanted to go between this van and the curb...but there was only about six inches of space. I told her no let's come out here and play. She told me her reasons...of which I could understand nothing....so I couldn't see her side of the story. Was there something there she was trying to reach...or was she just being silly hiding behind a dirty car? Needless to say, I had to drag her out of there kicking and screaming...and of course she couldnt understand my reasoning either....it just breaks my heart and at the same time it's VERY exhausting.

I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.....I am sooooooo trying to see this situation through their eyes. Please pray with me that God would give me extra grace, extra wisdom, extra abilities for us to understand each other, and that He would multiply each minute we have left together! I am sooooooo very glad I came early. I am praying this extra time will all help us with the bonding and adjustment process. I have to bring them back in 2 days. Please pray that they understand what's going on....not just in their head...but their heart.

They're up! We are headed to church today....and perfect timing...I need a great big dose of God right now!


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