2 steps forward....1 step back

So yeah.....this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

My heart is breaking for b and b. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose everything you've ever known....then gain some sort of normal at an orphanage....and then have this foreigner scoop you up tell you she loves you and then take you to live with her for a week. You can't understand more than a few words of what she's saying.....she won't let you eat all the candy you want, she won't let you bang away on her iPad all you want, she won't take you swimming everyday.....

So we've had at least one major temper tantrum every day. The first day was over not getting to bang away on every app on my iPad. That resulted in 30 minutes of sobbing from Bona. And lots of talking I couldn't understand. Yesterday it was 45 minutes of a self imposed time out (he crawled up on his bed) over not getting to wear his swim suit. I think he thought if he put it on we would get to go swimming again...oh how I wish we could go again....but it's expensive!

Buzena has been doing much better.....she is 3 .....and easy to bribe ;)

I try to be one of those moms that doesn't say because I said so. I hated that growing up so I really try to hear my kids side of the story and if I think they have a good reason we do it....for example, we were playing soccer in the courtyard yesterday. Buzena wanted to go between this van and the curb...but there was only about six inches of space. I told her no let's come out here and play. She told me her reasons...of which I could understand nothing....so I couldn't see her side of the story. Was there something there she was trying to reach...or was she just being silly hiding behind a dirty car? Needless to say, I had to drag her out of there kicking and screaming...and of course she couldnt understand my reasoning either....it just breaks my heart and at the same time it's VERY exhausting.

I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.....I am sooooooo trying to see this situation through their eyes. Please pray with me that God would give me extra grace, extra wisdom, extra abilities for us to understand each other, and that He would multiply each minute we have left together! I am sooooooo very glad I came early. I am praying this extra time will all help us with the bonding and adjustment process. I have to bring them back in 2 days. Please pray that they understand what's going on....not just in their head...but their heart.

They're up! We are headed to church today....and perfect timing...I need a great big dose of God right now!


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